You hand her a tissue and she demolishes it with one blow.
"First Ian, then Rafael... Theres's something about servants that's just very sexy!"
A waiter passes by to administer to an adjoining table and Maggie eyes him lustily.
Au courant as you are, you know very well that the Daily Grind doesn't have any waiters. You make a mental note to write a letter to the TPTB decrying the contrived nature of the scenes.